


(being anchored) just feels like a curse

by wolfatthedoor



Category: The Huntsman (Movies), The Huntsman: Winter's War
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 07:19:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6647857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfatthedoor/pseuds/wolfatthedoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>eric leaves without thinking twice about it. freya is right and love is a lie. </p><p>or the one where love is a lie and sara is just being loyal to freya, nothing more. not even if ravenna ((and everyone else)) thinks it's something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(being anchored) just feels like a curse

**Author's Note:**

> it's funny how hollywood made yet another straight movie and i still managed to find lesbian subtext. i think this ability of mine should have curricular value. also, consider this a community service because, well, this franchise ((as bad as it is)) needs some femslash.

Eric is gone. He didn’t even cast a last glance at her as he fled the scene. Apparently, an ice wall is enough for him to forget about staying with her forever. She just stares at his back not believing what she’s seeing. Somehow Tull’s punch hurts less than watching Eric leave. She loses consciousness, but Eric’s promises haunt her mind.

//

She wakes up in one of Freya’s dungeons. She presses herself against a wall, grimacing at the blaring migraine she’s sporting thanks to Tull. She misses Freya sitting calmly on an ice chair at first glance, but as she surveys the scene and considers an escape, she doesn’t miss the Ice Queen.

“I know what you’re thinking about. Please don’t try it,” Freya says, looking at her with piercing blue eyes.

Sara stares back and swallows. She waits, she knows Freya isn’t finished.

“You are the best huntsman I have. You should know better than believing you could fall in love with some foolish man. Love is a lie.”

Of course, that speech. Love is weakness, unnecessary, an inconvenience, and all that jazz. Sara knows the drill. She’s heard it all before. She can even say she knows it by heart ever since she arrived here.

“I know you don’t believe me right now, but with time you’ll see I’m right,” Freya says when she notices Sara will not be a willing participant in the conversation. She gracefully stands up and walks towards Sara. She reaches out and lays a hand on her cheek. Sara tries her best not to flinch at the cold touch.

“I will raise you from perdition, Sara. I will not let you fall.”

Sara says nothing as Freya walks out and leaves the chair in place, as if she’s thinking about returning. What Sara thinks is that her words sound more like a threat and not like a promise.

//

Tull comes and goes during the days she spends in the dungeon. He brings her food; cold, as always. At night, he comes and tosses a fur coat at her. She never puts it on before he leaves, and always makes sure to shrug it off with regret early in the morning before Tull comes to fetch it. She has a feeling Freya doesn’t know about this exchange, and Tull is really risking it just because he cares.

Freya comes too. Not as often as Tull, and her arrival is always signaled by the temperature dropping significantly. She sits on the throne, crosses her legs and looks at Sara as if she were studying her. Sara never speaks and watches Freya closely. The Ice Queen often sighs and shakes her head before standing up and leaving. Sara has taken up the habit of counting the minutes Freya stays with her, and surprises herself when Freya stays more than twenty five minutes. Apparently, she’s worth the Queen’s time but not Eric’s loyalty.

//

Since the only punishment Sara knows is being held in a dungeon, she starts planning an escape. It’s easy. She knows all the guards’ weak spots because she can tell them away even from the way they walk. She wears a mask that never breaks around Freya and refuses to say anything even when the Queen starts taking up talking. Freya keeps talking about the downsides of love and how disappointed she is on her and her loyalty to the Queen, but it is not anything Sara hasn’t heard before.

One night, right before Tull comes with the coat, Freya appears, but doesn’t sit. She goes straight to where Sara is standing and lays a hand on her arm.

“I will show you the path again, Sara. We will be strong again,” she says and her hand leaves a trail of frost down her arm. Freya reaches her hand and holds it firmly. “Together.”

She leaves after that and Sara knows that it is time to escape before Freya comes up with some twisted plan.

Tull doesn’t come, and Sara tries not to fidget. She lures a guard into the dungeon and knocks him unconscious. She takes the sword even if it feels uncomfortable in her hands and it is not as effective as her daggers or a bow. She fights half a dozen guards before leaving the dungeon, and considers climbing out of a window a better idea than walking out of the castle through the main doors. She secures the sword as best as she can on her back and climbs. As she’s carefully going down she feels something fly near her, but she’s too slow to know _what_ it is. She pays it no mind, thinking it’s maybe just a crow.

She reaches the floor and can see the walls of the castle just a few miles ahead of her. A flicker of hope starts to consume her before she sees the shadows lurking around her and closing in on her. She stops and sighs. Guess she’ll have to fight for her freedom again.

When she turns to face the rest of the huntsmen, she’s expecting to see Freya among them and Tull behind her. Except she’s mistaken. Instead, she sees one with dead eyes, dirty blond hair, and the beginnings of a stubble. Sara’s never bothered to learn his name because she knows he is exactly the kind of soldier Freya wants. He comes closer, but stops to signal the others to round her. Sara doesn’t put up a fight, she doesn’t deem it wise. She knows all of them will kill her if necessary, and thinks it’s best to live another day. They take away the sword, Freya’s ideal soldier knocks her to her knees, and they all waste no time in putting shackles on her. She looks up to the dark sky and manages to distinguish a white owl watching intently. Sara never takes her eyes off of it while they are taking her back to the castle.

//

They take her back to the dungeon she was previously in, except this time the punishment is severe. They soak her up in freezing water and hang her from her wrists, her feet just shy of touching the ground. A new huntsman comes every day to beat her up in really boring and predictable manners. Sara never complains and never utters a single sound.

Things change a bit when Tull comes along followed by the blond one. The latter is carrying a whip and Sara knows this time it’ll hurt. When the blond one walks behind her and the whip connects with her skin, Tull looks away. Sara takes it in stride, tears forming in her eyes but never escaping. Tull doesn’t stand there much longer, can’t stand the noise of the whip hitting her back. He walks out hurriedly, and Sara can’t blame him. She knows she would’ve done the same thing.

//

The punishment lasts seven days. The blond one comes to land the whip on her back stronger than the day before, and gives her water to drink, just enough to keep her from passing out. A different huntsman comes just to beat her up. She can’t tell them apart anymore because her eyes are swollen. She tastes blood on her mouth and she is numb in the back, but still sure she’s bleeding like hell.

She hasn’t tasted food in those seven days and the water is barely enough to keep her alive; she’s not sure how much longer she’ll be able to hold on. She’s on the edge of unconsciousness when she hears the dungeon door opening and feels colder than before. She feels a cold hand in her cheek that soothes the pain of the swelling and is really tempted to lean into it, but she’s too tired to even move her head.

“My dear Sara. What have they done to you?”

In the back of her mind, Sara comes up with a biting response, but her body gives in and falls prey to the darkness.

//

She wakes up to the sound of pots and pans banging together. She opens her right eye, the one that is less swollen, and realizes that she is back in her chambers, the fire burning softly in the chimney. She is laying face down on her own bed and her sheets are clean and crisp. She uses one hand to incorporate herself and groans, her muscles sore from being hung.

“I wouldn’t turn around if I were you,” she recognizes Tull’s voice.

“What are you doing here?”

“Making you breakfast. Freya gave the order to bring you back here.”

“Why?” She asks, curious. After all, Freya might be plotting a different form of punishment.

“Because you’re her favorite,” Tull says without bite nor malice. At that, she turns her head and barely manages to make Tull’s figure in the dim light. He’s not looking at her, probably because her back is sporting the proof of her punishment.

There is a knock at the door and Tull straightens and goes to open it. A kid, a girl, walks in and Sara recognizes her as the one Eric helped down from the carriage some days back. She’s carrying a bowl of water and a piece of cloth. The girl waves shyly and Tull doesn’t acknowledge her.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he says, still not looking at Sara. He leaves a tray with food near the chimney and slams the door on his way out.

The girl stays rooted at her place just by the door, gaping at Sara’s back.

“Oi,” Sara starts, more softly than she would like. “What’s your name?”

“Pippa,” is the barely audible response.

“Alright, Pippa, what’d you got there?”

“The Queen,” she starts. “The Queen sent me to clean up your -” and she points to Sara’s back.

“She did now?”

Pippa just nods, and stays still.

“Alright, come here,” Sara pats a small spot in her bed.

Pippa walks up to her and lays carefully the bowl and cloth on the bed. She searches her dress, and her hands fish out a small leather pouch. She drops the contents on the bowl and stirs them around. Sara can smell something similar to mint, fresh and crisp, but she doesn’t trust her senses completely in this state.

“What's that?” She asks as Pippa begins to wet the cloth in the bowl.

Pippa looks sheepish when she shrugs her shoulders. “The Queen gave it to me. Said it would help,” she points at her back as if asking for permission and Sara nods.

When the cloth hits her back, Sara hisses loudly and a litany of swears comes to mind, but she stops herself. Pippa removes the cloth, takes a step back, and begins apologizing, not knowing where to put her hands.

Sara tries to reach out to her. “It’s fine. It just,” she stops to clench her jaw. “It stings. You can continue.”

“Okay,” Pippa says and steps closer again.

Sara falls asleep several times while Pippa is cleaning her wounds. She wakes up when one wound is deeper than the rest and it stings. Pippa apologizes and her touch is soft and careful. When she finishes, she waves and leaves.

//

The ritual goes on for the next three days. Pippa tells her she’s already healed and that the wounds turned into scars with awe in her voice. Sara is not surprised, she figures whatever Freya gave the girl had magic in it.

Tull comes in, Pippa jumping away when the door crashes open. She hastily leaves when Tull jerks his head towards the door.

“She’s afraid of you,” Sara says while sitting up in her bed.

“Good,” he says. He goes to the chimney and places a pot to begin cooking. “She’s soft and naïve. She should be getting used to the cold.”

“We were like that. Don’t you remember?”

“We fought when we were still children. Now they get to grow up before going out to war. They have it easier,” he says bitterly.

Sara hums her agreement and just watches him cook. Soon, he pours soup in two bowls and sits at the edge of her bed. He passes her one bowl and a spoon. They eat in silence, Sara savoring the hot soup.

“How are you feeling?” He ventures, his strong voice a notch softer.

“Alright.”

“You look like shite,” he smirks.

She tries to smirk back, but her left eye is still very swollen. “At least the huntsmen live up to their fame.”

His smirk disappears. Tull finishes before her. He stands up and collects everything he brought. “Freya wants to see you.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know,” he says on his way to the door. “Now.”

“Aye,” she says before he leaves.

She stands up as best as she can, her muscles regaining their strength. She puts on her vest and ties her boots. She misses the familiar weight of her daggers on her thighs, but they took away her weapons. When she opens the door, the blond one is waiting for her, as well as other five. Sara scoffs, but allows to be led.

Freya is sitting in her damn ice throne looking every bit the queen she is. The blond one pushes Sara towards the Queen and stands behind her, ready to act in case Sara tries to do something stupid.

“Kneel before the Queen,” he growls out.

Sara doesn’t say anything, she just looks straight at Freya. The Ice Queen stares back, but says nothing.

“I said kneel!” He repeats, and out of the corner of her eyes Sara sees him reaching out for a staff which she knows he will use to make her kneel.

“That won’t be necessary, huntsman,” Freya says. Sara bits back a smirk and looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “She will kneel by her own free will. Won’t you, Sara?”

Freya is looking at her almost daring her not to do as she’s just said. Sara bows her head and goes down on one knee slowly.

“Thank you, huntsmen. That will be all, you may leave us.”

The blond one lingers for a beat, and then huffs and leaves with heavy footsteps.

“Stand up, Sara. Kneeling is for lesser warriors,” Freya says, and Sara looks at her before taking her time in rising.

“I trust the girl took care of your wounds?”

Sara grunts in response.

“Good,” Freya stands from her throne and walks towards her. It almost seems like she’s floating, but Sara may still be very tired. When she’s one step away, she reaches out for Sara’s cheek and lays a hand gently, her touch cold and soothing to the swelling.

“Look at what they did to you. You deserved punishment, but they behaved like beasts,” she says quietly.

“You ordered the punishment,” Sara says, and Freya looks taken aback by her harsh tone. Freya strokes her cheek, the cold expanding and lessening the swelling. Sara can’t hold back a sigh, and Freya looks pleased when she hears it.

“Yes. But you must understand it was the lesser evil. Otherwise, I would’ve had you killed.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you’re the best. The bravest. The strongest. Even considering your slip with Eric. You were always better than him,” Freya steps away and begins pacing. “He left at the first sign of trouble, he didn’t try to fight for you. But you, you took your punishment in stride and didn’t fight back. Even when you tried to escape, you surrendered.

"Now you know love is a lie. He forgot everything he promised. He chose to save his own life before laying it down for you. And I know the deception hurts,” Freya turns to her. “I know. But now you’ll be stronger and more powerful than before because you’ve learned how treacherous love is. Together, we’ll make this kingdom more powerful.”

Sara clenches her jaw. It pains her to admit that Freya is right. Eric chose to run away instead of staying and fighting. So long to ‘stand or fall’, so long to 'forever’. Freya is right and Eric’s not coming back.

“You will help me make this kingdom stronger, won’t you, Sara? Won’t you protect your Queen and her lands? Won’t you forget about that foolish man and be loyal to your Queen?”

Sara walks up to her, gaze set. Freya doesn’t back away; Sara figures she doesn’t look as menacing as usual with half her face purple and not standing at her full height. “My loyalties reside with you.” She bows her head. “Of course I will, my Queen.”

Sara hears the harsh inhale. Freya reaches to place her hand at her cheek again, and looks as if she were drunk on power.

//

Sara heals fast enough, even if her face is still slightly green-ish. She goes back to training, always accompanied by an escort of three huntsmen. She trains with Tull, and she has a feeling he is holding back for fear of hurting her. She pushes him and knocks him on his back several times. Tull doesn’t bite into her trap, he grunts and evades, stands and blocks, but never retaliates with full force.

She also takes up training the children. She puts together a small group of kids who seem promising, Pippa among them. She spends a lot of time with the girl, training and sparring, and she knows the rest of the huntsmen frown upon it, but she doesn’t give a damn. She’s grateful to Pippa for taking care of her and she wants to repay her somehow.

Freya notices her favoritism, but doesn’t mention it. Freya starts taking up watching the training early in the morning in _person_ , not with that annoying owl of hers. Sara sees her and feels her eyes on her. Sara doesn’t go easy on her group, but especially pushes Pippa further. The girl is still young and fragile, but Sara is getting through her.

Her days are usually spend around the children, until Freya calls for her. Freya is dressed in armor and Tull is by her side. Sara cocks an eyebrow at him, he just shakes his head and stares ahead.

“Sara,” Freya calls her attention. She stands taller. “There is a kingdom in the west that’s threatening mine. We will ride at sunset, Tull’s legion will lead. Will you join us?”

Sara stares blankly at her. Tull turns slightly, but says nothing. Neither of them has ever heard Freya _ask_ for anything.

“Yes. It would be an honor,” Sara says after a long pause.

“Good. Bring Pippa with you. I believe she is ready to fight,” Freya says and walks out to organize her army, Tull following close behind.

She calls for Pippa and helps her gear up. The girl is good with a sword, but not enough to fight for her life. Sara would be against bringing her to a war, but knows better than to oppose any of Freya’s orders.

“Do you think I’m ready?” Pippa asks her while Sara is choosing her daggers.

“You're a huntsman. No need to worry, kid,” Sara evades the question as swiftly as she can. Pippa says nothing and her expression turns serious, nothing like the 'tough face’ Eric told her to wear. This one, Sara thinks, is a bit of a reflection of her own.

When the sun is about to start setting on the horizon, all of the Queen’s forces are standing in the courtyard, waiting for instructions. Sara walks up to Tull at the front of the battle lines and holding the reins of Freya’s bear. Pippa is behind her and she looks like she wants to reach out the touch the bear’s fur.

Sara grabs her hand. “It knows us. It just kills under Freya’s command,” she brings up her hand holding Pippa’s to run them through the fur, and Pippa smiles. Sara allows herself to stare at the girl’s expression, knowing well it will not sit there for too long.

The doors of the castle bang open and Freya walks down the steps, followed by her guards. Pippa jumps away from the bear and stands behind Sara. Freya dismisses her guards and Sara extends her hand to help her up onto the bear. Freya’s gloved hand is not cold when she takes Sara’s and steps closer to her to whisper into her ear:

“Be true to your word, my dear. Be loyal to me. Show them what the best huntsman is made of.”

Sara nods sharply, and hoists Freya up, her hands lingering on the Queen’s hips more than necessary. Tull gives her a strange look, but she ignores him. She sets her jaw while she climbs her horse, watching Pippa imitate her movements. She will be true to her word because, unlike Eric, she never makes promises she cannot keep.

//

This war is bloody, and ruthless, and savage. Freya’s army manage to surprise the enemy by attacking at night and taking part of the castle, but they soon encounter difficulties. The enemy fights back and does it fiercely. They push Freya’s army back into the field and continue the battle there. Sara’s attention is divided between attacking and looking out for Pippa. Freya stays in the back row of the army, surrounded by archers and a pretty solid ice wall while the rest of them fight in the frontline. Tull and Sara fight side by side, cutting through at least a quarter of the opposite army.

They fight until nearly midday, Freya’s army coming out victorious. Sara checks on Pippa and finds that she’s still alive. Bruised and bleeding, but alive. Sara considers it a victory of her training.

Tull and Sara escort Freya around the grounds and castle, coming up to where they have the king cornered. Freya freezes the walls in matter of seconds, and Tull and Sara break through them, looking for the crown. Sara kills the king, Tull takes the crown and presents it to Freya. Something moves on the floor, and Sara catches the reflection of a sword that is intended to cut through Freya and acts out of instinct. She steps on the guard’s hand, bone crushing beneath her boot, and drives one of her daggers in between the guard’s eyes. The sword clatters to the floor and Freya looks impressed.

//

“The Queen calls for you,” Pippa tells her when they are back in their grounds. Sara is taking off her armor and putting away her weapons when the girl shows up at her chamber. She hasn’t even cleaned herself up, and there’s a cut below her cheekbone that she wants to take care of before it infects or worse.

“What does she want?”

“She didn’t say.”

Sara sighs. “You don’t have to be afraid of her.”

Pippa just shrugs and leaves.

Freya is back on a dress when Sara shows up in the throne room. She’s standing at the side with her back to the throne and turns when she hears Sara’s footsteps.

“Sara,” she calls. Sara walks up to her and stands still. “Would you accompany me to my chamber?”

Sara doesn’t think much of the request and nods, offering her arm. Freya takes it, and Sara conceals the shiver running down her spine. They walk through the dark halls of the castle, the guards and few huntsmen who walk by them giving Sara a weird look. The guards outside Freya’s chamber open the doors for them and Freya nearly has to drag her in because Sara is reluctant to go inside.

She stands near a wall while Freya goes to where the chimney should be, but instead there’s a very fancy looking mahogany table, and starts pouring firewhiskey in two glass cups. Sara thinks it strange, but doesn’t say anything as she takes one cup from Freya’s hand.

“I wanted to thank you for today,” Freya starts, taking a sip from her drink. “Not only for conquering yet another kingdom, but for keeping me safe.”

Sara frowns. “It’s my duty.”

“Of course it is,” Freya says, and Sara is almost certain the Queen is disappointed by her answer.

Freya steps closer, leans in, and kisses Sara’s cheek, mindful of the cut there. It comes as a surprise and Sara isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do, but she can feel her own heartbeat in her ears. She stands very still until Freya steps back and watches her closely; she isn’t really sure why she shivers, but for good measure she downs the firewhiskey in her hands in one go. Freya takes the cup from her and walks away.

“That’ll be all, Sara,” she doesn’t turn around to dismiss her, and Sara is glad. She walks stiffly out and keeps her eyes fixed on the ground all the way to her chamber.

//

Sara has no idea what Freya’s plan might be, but she’s quick to realize it might not be good. Freya is constantly calling her to the throne room for pointless reasons, and to anyone else they would even look like whims. For some strange reason, Sara doesn't mind the blatant excuses Freya comes up just to see her. She hasn't got much to do, anyways. When she's is not training her group or sparring with Tull, she’s charging against enemy lines looking for the newest addition to the Queen’s crowns.

Freya watches every single minute of training daily, her eyes never leaving Sara's figure. It becomes distracting soon enough. Sara keeps losing her balance and her blows become more erratic, less careful, and just aim to knock Tull down. But Tull is swift and evades and knocks her on her ass more times than she likes to admit.

"You're distracted," he points out, in the middle of blocking Sara's staff with his own. "Keep your focus on me."

"I'm trying," she grunts out.

Tull sighs and easily wipes at her feet, knocking her back. He places his boot on her neck, holding her down. "What is wrong with you?"

Sara swats his leg and stands up gracelessly. "Nothing," she huffs as she dusts off her pants.

She turns to her group, gathered in a circle around Tull and her. "That's all for today. Make sure to clean your hands before going to the kitchens."

Tull gives her a strange look and she ignores him as best as she can. She looks up to Freya in her balcony, and is met with blue eyes already staring at her. Sara narrows her eyes, sighs, and walks back into the castle.

//

Freya sends a guard for her right after dinner. Sara sighs, but nods and follows the guard to Freya's chamber. She tries her best to shake off the feeling of nervousness.

The Queen is already waiting for her, sitting on an ice chair, with a chess board laid before her. Sara knows the basics of it thanks to her mother, who made her play in the mornings saying that chess would make her mind sharper, smarter. Sara notices the way thinking about her mother doesn't affect her anymore and decides not to dwell on it.

"Sara," Freya points to the chair opposite hers, a noticeable wooden chair, and Sara walks with firm steps.

She sits and eyes the cup of firewhiskey waiting for her. She takes a sip as she waits for Freya to explain or make the first move.

"Have you ever played?"

Sara nods. "But I won't be a match. I barely remember."

Freya smirks. "Well, then," she pauses and her eyes seize Sara, "let me refresh your mind."

Freya moves the first piece, she's got the white ones. Sara holds a pawn in her hand and is surprised to realize that the pieces are made of marble instead of ice. She moves the pawn forward, and so the game begins.

Sara is pleased to realize that chess is a lot like organizing troops in a battlefield. She's familiar with the attack strategies, but her defense is weak, whereas Freya's is strong. Sara recalls her previous knowledge of chess soon, only needing some pointers on how to protect the king with the rooks. Freya wins the first game by a big stretch and smiles slyly.

"Best two out of three?"

Sara shrugs her response and finishes her firewhiskey. After all, she's got nowhere better to be.

For the second game, Sara puts up a little bit more resistance. She learns that bluntly attacking all of Freya's defenses will get her nowhere, and she wouldn't be a great warrior if she didn't know how to adapt. Sara protects her king and lets the queen and the bishops do all of the work. She grabs her cup while pondering her next move just to find it empty. She sighs and sets it down, and stops dead in her tracks of touching a knight when she watches Freya pour her a generous amount of firewhiskey. Sara just stares at her and swears Freya is almost teasing her. Freya lays her hands down on either side of the board and stretches, nearly touching Sara. Sara tries her best not to get distracted, but she fails. Safe to say, Freya wins again.

Sara huffs and Freya knocks her king down with a flick of her fingers. "Third time's the charm?"

Sara has a feeling Freya just likes to see her lose. During the third game, Freya pulls back. Sara notices and takes several of her pawns as a warning, but Freya doesn't register it. Instead, she unabashedly stares at Sara, studies the way she picks up the cup and brings her to her lips, and follows every moment her hand makes with rapt attention.

Sara reaches over and lays her king down. Freya looks surprised, but it's all just for show. She let Sara win.

"Why did you let me win?"

Freya bites her finger. "So that you would want to play again."

"I would've wanted to play again without that pity win," Sara says, her gaze hardening.

"It wasn't a pity win," Freya says. "You earned it. For someone who didn't remember how to play, you gave up a good fight."

"It's not that different from battle."

"Yes, my sister used to say something similar," Freya says absently. She stands up and walks behind Sara, runs a hand along her back, and leans ever so slightly. "I'll see you at training tomorrow, Sara."

The dismissal is clear.

Sara walks back to her chamber after receiving odd looks from the guards at Freya's doors. She is surprised to find Tull pacing outside.

"You've been with Freya, haven't you?"

"Aye."

Tull sighs. "I don't know what she's trying to do, but you must be careful."

"Of what?" She counters.

"Of anything. Of her. Of what she might be plotting," Tull says, and stops in front of her. "Whatever it is, it can't be good."

"I can handle it myself, Tull," she says in a flat tone. She doesn't wait for an answer and steps into her room, slamming the door behind her.

//

A guard showing up at her door to tell her that Freya solicits her presence becomes a familiar sight. Sara still denies it means anything and doesn't ask questions.

They play chess almost every night. Freya gets bolder with her touches and starts stroking Sara's hand while she's thinking about her next move. Sara leaves Freya's room almost every night drunk. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows that it's a bad habit to have, but she can't bring herself to act normal around Freya in close quarters without liquor in her system.

One night, Freya asks her if she thinks her group is ready to fight a proper war. Sara thinks it over before answering. She knows Pippa is more than ready, after all the girl's benefited from a nearly personal training, but the rest of them... She can't be that sure. Still, she assures Freya they are.

"Good. Take them to battle with you tomorrow. A menace coming from the south has arisen. Tull and his legion will provide extra forces in case it's necessary."

"What? Tull is not leading?"

"He is a great warrior, Sara, and an exemplary huntsman, but sadly he is not the best. You are," Freya tells her simply, taking a sip from her wine, raking her eyes over her. "Take your group to get them acquainted with war. The rest of the troops answer to you."

"You're giving me full command of your army?"

"Yes," Freya tells her as if it were the most obvious course of action.

//

Sara brings back kings as hostages. She brings crown after crown, and Freya just collects all of them. She freezes the kings and keeps them around the throne room as decoration. She wears a different crown every day and she doesn't repeat a single one of them for a little over ten days. Freya's kingdom is without doubt the strongest and most powerful of them all.

//

Freya calls Sara up to her chamber just as she is arriving from war. She carries a crown with her, and would like to clean herself up before going to see the Queen, but the guard leaves her no choice. Tull just looks exasperated when he hears what the guard says, and Pippa gives her this strange look that Sara's grown used to receiving from other huntsmen, but from her it's the first time. At that moment, Sara realizes that Pippa has grown so much that she too is starting to get suspicious about all these visits to the Queen's chamber.

The guards open the doors for her, and as soon as Freya sees her, she points at her bed.

"Sit," she orders, and Sara obeys automatically, holding the crown in her lap.

Freya comes closer with a bowl of water and a white cloth. She takes the cloth and dips in it the water and starts wiping Sara's face clean. Sara doesn't say anything, she just tenses up and closes her eyes. Freya stands too close to her, and Sara can smell the crispness that is usually associated with winter that Freya carries around all the time.

It takes Freya a while to clean her face. Sara suspects it has little to do with the fact that Freya is taking her time in doing so, and more with the fact that Sara is covered in dirt and blood that doesn't belong to her. Sara knows she probably looks disgusting. She opens her eyes when she doesn't feel Freya's hands on her face and sees how dirty both the water and the cloth are.

Freya puts the bowl, with the cloth in it, away, and settles her hands on Sara's shoulders. Sara feels a shiver run down her arms and remembers the crown she's still clutching.

"My Queen," she presents the crown.

Freya looks down at it, but doesn't move to take it. Instead, her hands slide to hold Sara's neck firmly and she leans in, kissing her softly. Sara tenses and Freya feels it, stepping back. They share a look between each other and Sara realizes how truly vulnerable Freya is at the moment, and makes up her mind. She lets the crown drop and places her hands on Freya's hips, bringing her closer again and capturing the Queen's lips in a kiss.

Sara pulls Freya in, clutching at her hips, their legs touching. Freya opens her mouth and Sara wastes no time in deepening the kiss, capturing her lower lip and softly nipping at it. Freya moans and Sara pulls at her hips until she makes her straddle her lap. Freya sits down slowly, never breaking the kiss. It is not until she's settled that she breaks it and looks at Sara with lust in her eyes. Sara's hands travel to Freya's lower back while Freya tangles her fingers in Sara's long hair, guiding her into another kiss. Sara grows a little confident and bites Freya's lower lip. She moans again, Sara could really get used to hearing that sound. However, she doesn't get another chance because Freya is pushing at her shoulder with one hand, the other one still buried in her hair.

"You need to clean yourself up, huntsman," she says a little breathless. She stands up and smooths her dress. Sara watches with rapt attention, following every single movement Freya's hands make.

Sara stands up as well and huffs at the slight height difference between them. She puffs her chest out and never breaks eye contact.

"I will be needing that crown," Freya says, and her expression is so cool and detached that Sara is a little bit jealous.

Sara bends down to collect the crown and then hands it over.

"Thank you. Goodnight, huntsman."

Sara fights back the smirk. "Goodnight, Queen."

//

Not much changes after that. Sara still gets weird looks from her fellow huntsmen, and Pippa even tries to ask her about Freya once, but Sara expertly avoids the question. Tull continues to be exasperated about her relationship with the Queen.

"She's dangerous."

"Nothing I can't handle," Sara answers with a shrug. She knows Freya is dangerous even if she doesn't follow her around all day like Tull does. She also knows Freya is impulsive, but somehow calculated.

Freya still sits at her balcony every morning to watch the training, and Sara still is terrible at trying to ignore the feeling of her eyes on her. Sara still commands Freya's army into battle, except that now Freya's annoying white owl sits on her shoulder during the marching and the moments before battle unleashes. The bloody bird nips at her ear every once in a while, and Sara has to fight the instinct to just swat it away.

They still have their chess sessions every night. Sara is getting better at it, and Freya is starting to have a hard time to beat her at it. Therefore, she's taken up different _strategies_ to ensure her win.

Sara takes a sip of her firewhiskey, stroking her cheek thinking about her next move. Freya lets one of her shoes drop and the clatter breaks the silence in the room. Sara looks up at her and narrows her eyes, but quickly goes back at giving the board her full attention. Soon, she feels Freya's toes lightly rubbing her shin, and hastily moves a piece just to give Freya something else to do.

Freya reaches over and takes one of her pawns. Sara frowns and thinks her next move carefully. She feels Freya's foot travel up and down her calf, and grips the table.

"You're distracting me," Sara points out, not daring to look at Freya.

"Is it working?"

Sara swallows and looks up. Freya's pupils are dilated and her eyes are hungry, watching her carefully. Sara barely nods in answer, and Freya acknowledges it with a sound at the back of her throat.

"I'm afraid you'll have to play in spite of that."

Sara tries to hold it together, she really does, but she doesn't consider all of her options and basically hands over her king to Freya. She is not really to blame for that, though, because Freya keeps rubbing her foot against her inner thigh, and Sara feels everything even through her leather trousers. The Queen looks pleased when Sara surrenders her king willingly after noticing Freya has her surrounded and there's no way to fight back.

"Seems I've won," Freya eyes her with heavy eyes.

Sara waits. That's what she always does around Freya because she never knows what she'll do next. She waits, and her patience is rewarded when Freya simply pushes the chess board aside with a dash of ice that shoots out her hand, pieces clattering to the ground, and stands up. Sara pushes her chair back and watches Freya stalk towards her, her hips swaying and seductive, every step designed to make her crave the moment Freya finally sits on her lap.

And Freya drags that moment out. Sara doesn't even try to pull her close nor attempts to touch her. She enjoys every slow second that pass before Freya lays her hands on her shoulders and slowly lowers herself on Sara's lap. Freya places one knee on either side of Sara's hips and grinds down, making Sara close her eyes and take a deep breath. Freya waits until Sara's eyes open again and dives for a fierce kiss.

Sara doesn't back down and refuses to give Freya full control of the kiss. She bites at Freya's lower lip and leans a little to the left to kiss her deeply. Freya moans and her hands tangle in Sara's hair, pulling hard enough to make her hiss in pleasure. Sara drags her tongue along Freya's teeth before tangling them together. Her hands roam across Freya's back and settle on her ass, squeezing hard.

Freya's fingers ghost on Sara's breasts, but never stay there. She finds her way below Sara's vest and shirt and scratches along her abs, making Sara break the kiss and moan. Then, Freya's hands settle on the top of her trousers.

"These need to go."

Sara nods and goes in for another kiss, but Freya stands up, leaving her hanging. When Sara recovers and turns around, she finds Freya's dress discarded on the floor and Freya making her way to the bed. The invitation is clear, and Sara fumbles a little with her trousers before slipping out of them and following after Freya.

//

Sara wakes up before dawn because she feels cold everywhere. She tries to snuggle into the sheets, but finds little comfort. She extends her hand just to find the space beside her empty and, unsurprisingly, cold. She stirs and yawns. She sits up in bed, taking the sheets with her, not being able to stop the lazy smile forming on her face when she lays eyes on Freya's figure by the window. She stands up and wraps the sheets around herself, walking with silent steps behind the Queen.

Freya feels her coming and leans back into her when she's close enough. Sara places her chin on top of Freya's shoulder, hugs her from behind, and sighs. She has to admit the view from up here is beautiful, no wonder Freya's room is on this side of the castle. As far as Sara can see, all around them is silent and white, bathed in the early grey light before the sun tries to fight its way through the clouds always hanging around the castle. Sara has a feeling that it's all Freya's doing: the grey tones blended with the ice and snow that stretch as far as they both can see.

"This is all mine," Freya whispers, her voice scratchy and still sleepy. Sara nods once and places a kiss to her shoulder. She knows she can't stay and doesn't have much time if she wants to make it back to her chamber without being noticed; although she knows for sure the guards found it odd when she didn't leave the night before. Still, she allows herself a few moments standing there with Freya in her arms.

//

Sara stops waiting for a guard to go looking for her under Freya's command. As soon as she arrives from battle, she goes to see Freya. The guards at the doors are already familiar with her, and let her in without question. Sometimes, Freya is already waiting for her. Others, Sara waits for her. But every time Sara finds herself in Freya's room, she convinces herself she's only doing it out of habit and because she is loyal to her Queen, and she would rather die than to fail her ever again.

//

Ravenna dies. The news run fast across the land and across the huntsmen. Sara catches a few whispers in the kitchens; she's sure she is not meant to listen to those because all of the huntsmen are wary of her relationship with Freya. She's heard those rumors as well. Some of them go from very lewd to extremely pathetic. She doesn't pay much attention to them, knowing that hers and Freya's relationship is strictly theirs.

Sara finds Freya in the throne room staring off into nothing in particular. She sorts her way through some frozen people and stands before the Queen, waiting.

"Ravenna is dead," she says simply without focusing on her. Sara nods and stands behind the throne, placing a hand on Freya's shoulder. She's colder than usual.

Freya spends the next few days freezing anyone who remotely annoys her or makes her angry. Tull is always following her around, and Sara keeps her distance, but tries to take care of everything she can to keep Freya from freezing yet another guard or huntsman. In the privacy of Freya's room, Sara holds her close after having sex, and listens to her steady breathing. Freya never sheds a tear.

//

In the following weeks from Ravenna's death, Sara spends more time in Freya's chamber, making the rumors stronger and doing the exact opposite of proving them wrong. She starts spending nights in Freya's room and only goes to her own chamber to change clothes and pick up more weapons. She trains with everyone, eats with everyone, but immediately after that spends the rest of the day with Freya.

Pippa confronts her about it one day.

"What are you doing with Freya?" She asks, standing tall and strong, no longer afraid of the Ice Queen.

"None of your bloody business," Sara snaps.

"Really? Because it seems like a popular topic among huntsmen. Do you have any idea what they are saying about you two?"

Sara looks at her with anger flashing in her eyes. "I don't care."

"Fine. Have it your way," Pippa says before walking away.

Sara breathes heavily. It doesn't matter what they all say. She's being loyal to her Queen.

//

Freya asks her to conquer Snow White's kingdom for her one night. Sara doubts it for a bit, but eventually accepts. There is not much she can deny to Freya.

Sara parts the next morning with Tull and Pippa by her side, the rest of Freya's army following them. She looks at Freya one last time and all she can see in her eyes is the desire for revenge and greed. She climbs her horse, and leads the march out of their grounds, the white owl sitting on Sara's shoulder, watching with attention the land before them.

Snow White's army meets them halfway, keeping them far from their land, and the fight is brutal. Tull and Sara easily tear through the first row of soldiers, but the rest of them prove to be more difficult. Sara loses her horse, Tull directs himself towards the sidelines, and Pippa is nowhere in sight. A small group follows her, surely just to provide cover while she kills anyone who she doesn't recognize as her own countrymen. She is surprised to see Snow White herself fighting among her army. She reaches for one of the archers that's covering her and tears the bow and arrows away from him, her gaze focused solely on Snow White. Sara never misses, and this time is no exception, but the arrow she shoots does no damage at all. The blow makes Snow White stagger, but the arrow just stays in the armor. Snow White meets her eyes and charges against Sara's troops with a battle cry.

"We're out numbered!" Tull yells at her, while struggling to defend himself. Sara grunts and shoots faster. She's waiting for Snow White. She wants to personally fight her and kill her so she can bring her crown to Freya and see the look on Freya's eyes. She just wants to -

"We need to pull back," Pippa says, colliding with her, and avoiding a blow. "They are too many."

"No!" Sara growls, standing up straight, trying to find Snow White. "Not without that bloody crown!"

"Now!" Tull yells.

Pippa drags her away from the fight. Tull calls for her army to pull back, and she never catches sight of Snow White.

//

They return to Freya's kingdom defeated. Freya is waiting for them on the steps of the courtyard and frowns when she sees that the soldiers returning are less than the ones she originally sent. Sara walks up to her with her head hanging low.

"What happened?" She says in a cold voice.

Sara tries not to flinch at the tone.

"We were out numbered," Pippa answers. Freya's turns sharply at her and regards her with a disgusted expression.

"Sara? What happened?"

"Snow White's army, they were more than us. And Snow White was with them. I shot her, but her armor must be protected by magic," Sara explains.

"That means you've failed," Freya says more to herself. Sara stands tall, her back rigid, ready for any punishment.

Freya looks at them as if they were dirty underlings. "You're _all_ dismissed," she says.

//

Sara goes to Freya's chamber that night, feeling unsure. She's failed her Queen.

As soon as she enters, she notices Freya standing by the window. Sara walks to her slowly, and carefully places her hands on Freya's hips. Freya turns around and regards her coldly, she reverses their positions and pushes Sara against the wall. Sara tries to hold her by the hips, but Freya slaps her hands away.

"Not tonight."

Sara nods, and Freya tears her vest from her body, kissing her roughly.

Freya has her way with her all night long, and Sara doesn't complain. Freya pushes her over the edge several times, and then, finally, allows Sara to touch her. Sara kisses every inch of her body, almost worshiping it. She touches everywhere, and then touches again the places that make Freya sigh. She uses fingers and tongue to give Freya the release she needs, and then does it all over again. Freya collapses beside her and rests her head on Sara's shoulder. Sara would never describe the Ice Queen as soft, but during these moments, when Freya is at the edge of sleep tired and sated, Sara risks to think of her as soft. Freya's hands are soft and cold, they will never know hard work, they will never be familiar with the weight of a sword, they will always be deadly with ice, but only with ice. Freya's skin is milky, and smooth, and _white._ Freya smells like a rainy morning during winter and Freya has never used her powers against her.

Sara runs her fingertips along Freya's arm, feeling the softness. Sara would never describe Freya as soft when she's wearing her long, blue gowns or when she's wearing armor, but she dares to in the quietness and privacy of Freya's room, where no one else will ever be. No one else will never know Freya like this, like this softness that Sara is familiar with.

"She killed my sister," Freya says softly. "I want her crown."

Sara tilts her chin up and kisses her slowly and deeply. "I will make her kingdom yours."

Freya looks up at her, and Sara is afraid of what she sees in her eyes because it's a lot like the way Eric used to look at her. "My huntsman. You will be the death of me."

//

Sara is surprised when Tull interrupts her training and tells her Freya calls for her. Sara instinctively raises her eyes to Freya's balcony, not finding her there. She frowns, but goes inside.

Freya is pacing in the throne room. When she sees Sara she stops and looks tired. Sara steps closer and itches to hold her on her arms, but the perimeter of ice around Freya tells her it wouldn't be a great idea.

"The mirror. My sister's mirror. Snow White sent it to Sanctuary, but someone stole it in the way. Find it," Freya tells her.

Sara can see the plead in her eyes and nods once with conviction already settling in her mind. She turns around and starts walking out when Freya calls her.

"There is something more," she pauses, Sara thinks it's not for dramatic effect. "A former huntsman is also looking for it, to take it to Sanctuary and leave it there," Sara raises an eyebrow, prompting her to continue. "Eric is looking for it. Find him first and he will lead you straight to it."

Sara stays rooted to the ground for a few seconds. She hasn't heard from or seen Eric in a little over seven years. She doesn't want to see him again, if she's being honest.

Freya walks to her and lays a hand on her cheek, leading her into a kiss Sara greedily accepts. Before the kiss distracts them further, Freya steps away, her hand against Sara's chest.

"Be true to your Queen," she says. Sara hears _'be true to me'_.

//

She parts with a small group of huntsmen by Freya's command. Sara recognizes the blond one who made her life hell for a few days so many years ago. He acknowledges her with a nod and follows her orders. They find Eric easily enough by following that damn white owl Freya is so fond of. She lets the other huntsmen have a go at him just because she's enjoying a bit watching him hurt and bleed. It is not the same as the punishment she had to go through after he left, but it's the closest she will ever see.

She takes off her hood and looks straight at him before knocking him out. She ties the dwarfs hands and makes them lead the way into the woods. She carries Eric on her shoulder because he is no good to her with his head injured.

The first thing he says when he wakes up is that she is supposed to be dead. She plays along for a bit until he says Tull was the one who killed her. She scoffs at that, as if Tull would ever dare to lay a hand on her. She spats at him his departure and plays the part of scornful wife before learning he has been going around saying he was a widower, that really makes her angry. He insists Freya tricked them, but Sara is having none of it. She saw him left with her own eyes.

//

Somehow she's found herself caught in a trap laid down by dwarfs. Great, more dwarfs. As if two weren't already enough. However, the newest addition of dwarfs help them find the mirror and she thinks it could've been worse. The dwarfs could've been completely useless.

Eric and Sara fight the elf together, and she hates to admit that she's missed this. This familiarity between the two of them, being in sync around each other and being able to predict each other's moves. Then she sees her mother's amulet hanging from his neck and she feels a pressure on her chest she has never felt since they took her away from her mother. She stands close to him and he promises he's never taken it off, and she really wants to believe him, but he still left and she is loyal to her Queen.

Sara definitely does not cry when she doesn't see Eric walking away from all the elves. She doesn't mourn his loss one more time. She doesn't miss his warmth. Except she kind of does, but then she sees him alive and smirking and she forgets for a moment why she shouldn't forgive him.

//

She kisses him and it's probably a mistake, but somehow it doesn't feel like one. She lets him lay on top of her, and she holds him close all night long.

She wakes up because she doesn't feel the newly familiar weight of Eric's body beside her. She sees him standing before the mirror and clutching his knife. She walks up to him, touches his shoulder and asks him what's wrong. He retaliates by asking her if she's been true. The question makes her lose her balance for a few seconds, because she hasn't. She hasn't been true, not to him and not to her Queen. He takes her hands and makes her hold the knife against him. She steps back and turns to the horizon, already seeing Freya and her army marching towards them. She figures the owl never left her, and showed Freya where they were.

Freya makes her grand entrance riding her bear, Tull close behind her. Freya steps down and softly explains to Eric all the plan, tells him all the great feats Sara has done, all the kingdoms she's destroyed. Her guards take the mirror and Sara can't bring herself to look at Freya, nor at Eric, nor at Tull. Sara takes an arrow after Freya tells her to kill Eric. In a moment of weakness, she decides where she'll put that arrow. She also knows she never misses. Tull says nothing and just hands over her fur coat after she sits on her horse.

//

When they dismount on the courtyard, she sees Pippa training some kids. Pippa looks up at her and offers her a weak smile and a wave. Sara returns just the wave. She walks up the steps to the doors behind Freya, looking straight ahead. Freya stops her.

"Welcome home, Sara," she says even when she knows Sara's been gone for just a few days. Sara looks at her, but doesn't say anything, can't bring herself to do so. She just holds Freya's gaze and walks by. She has a feeling Freya knows what she's done and she is not brave enough to be held accountable for her actions.

She spends the rest of the day in her room. Pippa stops by and tells her about the group she's training, the kids she saw her with when she arrived. She catches her up with what she missed while she was away, but Sara barely responds.

"Tull told me you saw Eric," Pippa starts, and that gets Sara's attention. "That you spent time with him. Do you miss him?"

"No," Sara says because she doesn't miss him because she's loyal to her Queen.

"Is it because of Freya?"

Sara narrows her eyes and tries to keep the confusion out of her face. If Pippa catches any kind of interest in her expression, she will never drop the subject, and Pippa has proved to be very interested in her relationship with Freya.

"Well," Pippa begins, clearly noticing Sara's confused expression and standing up. "Everyone's noticed how different she is around you. It's almost as if she cared about you. And I can't describe the way you look at her."

"It's called loyalty. I look at her with loyalty."

Pippa scoffs on her way to the door. "I know I'm young and I've probably seen too little, but that's not loyalty, Sara. That's something more. Something stronger." She leaves no room for an answer as she bolts out of the room, certain that Sara is going to throw something at her or punch her.

Sara stays in the same spot pondering over Pippa's words and her days with Eric, but is soon disrupted by a commotion outside. She leaves her chamber and sees guards running around as if they were chickens without heads. She bumps into one and holds his arm firmly, shaking him a little, demanding answers.

"Ravenna is alive. Ravenna is alive and she is with the Queen," he says, his eyes glazed over.

That cannot be possible. Sara walks with decided steps towards the throne room, picking up a staff from the ground, and sidestepping various guards. They all seem to be running around, following Ravenna's orders, from what Sara can hear them muttering. And if Ravenna is alive and within these walls, she'll probably want to take the throne away from Freya and she can't allow that. She enters the throne room just to find it empty. The guard at the door is shaking, but he manages to tell her that both Queens are in Freya's chamber.

Sara bangs Freya's doors open and her eyes first fall on Freya standing near the center of the room; then, she notices Ravenna, in flesh and blood, standing by the window.

"Little sister," Ravenna starts as she glides towards Sara with a murderous glint in her eyes, "do all your huntsmen irrupt into your personal chambers or is this one just stupid?"

Freya startles a little and gasps. Sara never takes her eyes off the Evil Queen, her staff ready at her side to attack.

"Sara," Freya calls. "Huntsman," she repeats when Sara shows no signs of recognition. Sara turns to her. "You have no right to come into my chamber like that. There is no danger here. You may retire."

Freya gives her no choice, so she stands down and leaves, Ravenna's laugh following her out.

//

During the days Ravenna stays at the castle, Freya looks more on edge. Or so Sara realizes. Sara notices how stiff Freya's back is, how tightly she holds her own hands across her stomach, and how susceptible she is to freezing people over the littlest of things.

Sara shows up at the throne room one afternoon, expecting to see Freya sitting on the throne, except it's Ravenna.

"Where is the Queen?" She doesn't mean to sound so defensive, but she can't help it.

Ravenna smirks. "I _am_ the Queen."

"I mean the _legitimate_ Queen," Sara counters.

Ravenna raises her eyebrows and lets out a dark chuckle. "Well, now I see why my little sister likes you so much," she stands up and starts rounding Sara, making her feel like a trapped animal ready to be devoured.

"Strong, fierce, _pretty_ ," Ravenna spits out the last word. "So much better than the last idiotic wimp my sister thought she loved."

Sara stays in place and controls her breathing.

"But what do you have to offer her? You're just a huntsman. The best, of course, but still just a huntsman. I knew one like you some time ago. You are nothing but expendable. I wonder how much longer my sister will keep you around."

"Ravenna!" Freya shouts. She walks towards them with frost dancing around her hands. "You don't get to antagonize my huntsmen."

"I wonder if you'd react the same way if it was another one," Ravenna vaguely gestures towards Sara. "This one's special, isn't she?"

Sara looks at Freya, but Freya refuses to look back at her. Ravenna watches them closely and seems delighted about the whole situation.

"My, my. And I'd thought you had learned from your mistakes. You know better than to try to love again, little sister," Ravenna stares directly at Sara. "This foolishness, it won't last. You can count on that."

"That is enough. Sara, you're dismissed," Freya finishes the conversation, but the damage is already done. Sara is looking at her trying to find assurance of what Ravenna says, but instead finds a cold, dead stare looking back at her. "Do I have to repeat myself, _huntsman_?"

Sara doesn't need to be told twice.

//

Sara is sitting at her bed, absently sharpening her daggers, when she hears her door being opened.

"Leave, Pippa. Whatever you want can wait for tomorrow."

"Were you expecting someone else?" Freya's voice announces. Sara turns around and Freya closes the door softly. Sara jumps to her feet and holds Freya tightly in her arms. Freya holds her face in between her hands and kisses her.

"What about Ravenna?" Sara asks.

"I don't care about her tonight," Freya answers, looking deeply into her eyes. "Just take me to bed."

And Sara does exactly that.

//

It's still dark outside when Sara hears her door opening. She tenses and subtly reaches out for the weapon hidden below the bed. Before she has time to leap up and strike, her hand is held down.

"It's me," she recognizes Tull's voice. "Wake her up before Ravenna notices she's gone," he then leaves and she's sure he stands guard just outside her door.

She reaches over and touches Freya's face, slowly placing a lock of white hair behind her ear. She kisses Freya's eyelids and nose, nips at her cheeks, until Freya stirs awake. When she opens her eyes and sees Sara so close to her, she smiles softly, reaching out to kiss her. Sara allows the kiss, but breaks it soon enough.

"You must leave."

Freya frowns, but then she remembers. Her hard gaze returns and she sits up in bed, taking the sheet with her. She stands up and collects her dress discarded on the floor.

"And how am I supposed to cover myself?" Sara asks, a bit cocky, trying to break some tension.

Freya looks back at her and eyes her up and down. "Oh, you're just fine like that."

Sara lets out a soft breath that wants to become a full laugh, but dies along the way. She stands up after Freya has finished dressing herself and walks her to the door.

"Oi," she starts softly. She uses one finger to turn Freya's chin towards her and she's sure she's never seen her more beautiful than this. Hair still mussed from sleep, blue eyes shining in the dim light of the room, and heavy eyes filled with pain. Something must show on her face because Freya hastily rounds her neck with her arms and kisses her fiercely. Freya breaks the kiss, gives her a smaller, softer lingering one before leaving and Sara thinks it impossible for a kiss to carry such amount of finality.

She stands on the same spot long after Freya is gone thinking about what she feels. It's not love. It can't be love. Love is a tale for children, but not for children like them. She can't love the Ice Queen. She can only be loyal to her.

//

If Sara had known what she knows now, she wouldn't have let Freya walk out of her chamber this morning.

Sara realizes she cannot be loyal to both Freya and Eric because they are polar opposites. So, when Ravenna convinces Freya to condemn her and Eric to death, she says nothing and looks at Eric first, then at Freya, because if she's going to die, she would like to keep both of their faces fresh in her mind. But Tull doesn't kill them, he would never. Instead, he frees them and in the back of her mind Sara wonders why on Earth did Eric ever believe Tull could kill her. It just seems like nonsense to Sara. After cutting their shackles loose, Tull and the rest of them stand in defense, waiting for Ravenna's attack.

Because she cannot choose between Freya and Eric, Sara chooses killing Ravenna and letting the rest sort itself out. She tries, but Ravenna is way more powerful than she initially thinks and her plan backfires. Ravenna gets a hold of her neck and hoists her up.

"I told you it wouldn't last," she says through gritted teeth. Sara is not afraid, she notices. Ravenna drops her and those ugly, obsidian things get a hold of her, squeezing her and tossing her away. Her back hits the edge of a step and her head collides with the floor, leaving her stunned and out of focus.

She barely registers Ravenna's final screech and as she incorporates she feels Eric's hands on her steadying her. But she doesn't see him. All her mind and eyes are processing is Freya lying on the floor bleeding out and looking at her. Sara wants to try and reach out, to stop the bleeding, to save her because she's just realized she loves her and wants her to live. Freya seems to read her mind and Sara can tell that she's trying to communicate with her eyes what she dares not to say out loud.

Freya looks to her side. "You are so lucky," she says, and Sara registers that she tells that to Eric because Eric gets to live, Eric gets to hold Sara one more time, and Eric is still alive.

She wants to stay, wants to keep Freya company until the life leaves her body, but Eric helps her to stand up and drags her outside.

//

When all the hype of having the defeated the evil Queens wears down, Sara goes back to the throne room and sits on the floor by Freya's side. The whole room is filled with bodies scattered around, proof of Ravenna's destruction, but Sara only cares about Freya. She holds one of her hands and hates how cold it feels, different from usual. She stays there for a while until she feels a hand on her shoulder.

She looks up to see Tull towering over her. She allows only one tear to run down her cheek.

"It's just bloody funny how you realize that you love something until it's taken away from you," Sara says and there's absolutely nothing funny to how empty she feels.

"I think you let her know."

Sara doesn't say anything, just stands up and carries Freya's body in her arms.

"Would you help me bury her before they think about burning her?"

Tull nods solemnly.

//

They bury her deep into the woods, where she knows no angry former huntsman will try to get revenge.

Sara kneels and places a hand on the dirt, letting the tears fall.

//

When she tells Eric that she's leaving, he looks as if his world is going to end.

"Why? We just got each other back. We can start over."

Sara explains that she doesn't want to start over, she just wants to move on.

"I know I loved you once upon a time, but I'm not sure anymore," and it pains her to say those words, because she feels a strong connection to him. Because she once loved him.

But he is nothing if not a gentleman. He kisses her cheek and promises her that he will be here if she ever wants to come back. Sara doesn't say she probably will never come back. Eric insists that she takes one horse and provisions, and Sara doesn't have the strength to deny him.

She says goodbye to Tull and Pippa with a heavy heart. Tull gives her his hand and she takes it, trying to commit the feeling to memory. Pippa is less collected and just hugs her, and Sara allows it, breathing her in.

She climbs into her horse and looks at the castle one last time before riding towards the west. She knows Freya's kingdom is in good hands between Tull, Eric, and Pippa.

She doesn't have a destination in mind. Just a place where she can be alone and at peace.

Somewhere where love is never spoken of.

**Author's Note:**

> first of all: i'd like to apologize for blatantly skipping the sex scene. turns out i can't write sex scenes to safe my life, so i thought it'd be best if i just left it to your imaginations.  
> second: thanks for putting up with me and reading this thing. it was a hard one to write.  
> third: the movie gave me all the subtext i needed for this, even when freya and sara shared like three scenes. if you wanna discuss it further, you can hmu @ deltoroguillermo on tumblr.


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